f there is one thing, I have learned from my 3 children is the importance of standing up for ourselves. One of the hardest things to do sometimes is to say something when our dignity is violated. Often, we go silent and the weight of that silence can lead us to violate the dignity of others.
I know this word is often overused but my children are my heroes. They are so far ahead of where I was when I was their age it is truly amazing to me. I have learned as much from them as they have from me. I hope that I have been as good a father and example to them because their examples have motivated me to become a better person.
My oldest Cassandra is an amazing mother to her son Eli. She put herself through school to become a physical therapy assistant and she is a great singer. Her and her partner Brandon have built a home for themselves and their son. She loves her father even though I made many mistakes when she was young. She was one of the reasons I work hard to become a nurse. I wanted to build a life for her like my mother did for me. I hope I was able to do that. My daughter is a strong independent woman and she has always been a person who stands up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.
My middle child has shown me what it means to stand up for who you are no matter what others think. When she was born, we called her Kiana but now they would like to be called Dylan which is a gender-neutral name. What is amazing to me is that Dylan allows the family to them Kiana. At first, I thought it was a gracious gesture but now that I think about it the very first Essential of Dignity is Acceptance of Identity (Dr. Donna Hicks PhD) which is what I have been violating by not honoring Dylan’s choice of name and pronoun. It is easy for me honor those choices with others but as a parent we hold on to those memories of the child we raised and we fear losing that. So, today until I am told differently, I will honor my second child’s request to be called Dylan and I will honor the pronouns of they and them. I want to honor Dylan’s dignity not just because I am their father but because it is the right thing to do. It is time I stood up for you.
My youngest son is Anthony. He has had his struggles in school but every time we go to a parent-teacher conferences the speech is the same. He is a polite and respectful young man, he stands up for others, and he advocates for himself. These are amazing values to have at 15 years old. I still remember the email we received from a parent when he was in middle school. They had a child with autism and he told his parents about Anthony and how he would stand up for him. Even the high school principal talks about how Anthony and his friends set the example for all kids in the school.
I want my children to know that I am writing about them because I am a proud parent. I want them to know that they have given me so much. I hope that I have done the same for them. They set the example of what dignity should look like. They give me the strength every day to stand tall and to continue to honor the dignity of all people.
Even as a Dignity Champion there is room for me to learn and grow. I am not perfect but I strive for perfection.
“Every day we wake up is a new day for redemption.” Tracy Redd (a Former Marine and currently Truck Drive-Thank you for your service as a Marine and Truck Diver)
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 
Excellently said. Thank you for the ways you encourage us to love and do good.
LikeLike
Hi Charles, This is such a needed message! It has been a privilege to journey with you as you worked through grieving the loss of Kiena and embracing Dylan. I have been on the same journey at BU as I listened to my colleagues who identify as they/ them. My grammar part of me has wrestled with singular vs. Plural. My cultural upbringing taught me “right and wrong” gender definitions and all the roles and …to be honest…indignities for some ….that goes with it. And through that lens, using “God” to justify those indignities and definitions.
Very few people in my place of habitation understand true dignity as understanding and honoring another’s experiences and choice to choose how to show up in the world.
In that setting, I get worn down inside and your blog was so needed for me this morning to fight those dragons.
As you shared about your oldest daughter, I received grace…all of us parents have regrets about the ways we blew it. And thankfully they are resilient (as are we), and God’s mercy is new every morning. We can set the reset button any time. We can go forward in a different direction when needed….with a little help from our friends. 🙂
And, Anthony is indeed a delight and also, with his siblings, a gift. May God surround our kids with blessings today…..and each of their tomorrow’s. And may we be granted the focus to see the blessings through the challenges and ground ourselves there.
Happy Dignity Friday, my friend.
Blessings, Lisa
On Fri, Nov 19, 2021, 9:01 AM Dignity Freedom Fighter wrote:
> Dignity Freedom Fighter posted: ” f there is one thing, I have learned > from my 3 children is the importance of standing up for ourselves. One of > the hardest things to do sometimes is to say something when our dignity is > violated. Often, we go silent and the weight of that silen” >
LikeLiked by 1 person