The thing that was so amazing about my mother is that she always taught us to believe that we could be successful if we truly wanted to be. She didn’t measure success by how much money we would have but success in the kind of men we could be. I didn’t really understand that as a young child. We didn’t have much and I saw how hard my mother worked to raise us and, in my mind, I wanted more. As a young black child growing up in the city of Boston in the 1970’s I saw that my opportunities for success would come in three pathways, which were entertainment, sports, or a life of crime. Those were the images I saw on television and on the streets of Boston. What I did not realize was that success was right in front of me, and I did not see it until I had a family of my own.
I was blessed with great examples of success in my family. My grandfather and Uncle Kenny were engineers. My Aunt May was a nurse. I watched my Aunt Cynthia put herself through school to become an accountant and start her own business, and my Auntie Ellie became an educator. I also learned later in my life that my great grandmother (My mother’s grandmother) owned a farm in Long Island New York and was a Bishop in her church. Understand that back in the 1950s those were not positions that women normally held and it was rare that a black woman would own land (This is another story for another time). More importantly, as I reflect on my life, I have come to understand that my mother was the most influential and successful person in my life.
My mother didn’t have a college degree or a fancy title. She didn’t own a business, and she lived paycheck to paycheck. She had to manage 3 young children on her own in the inner-city where the outlook was not a positive one, especially in the 1970s. My mother was the CEO of Redd, Inc. Her job was to raise her young boys to be successful in a world where we were told it was not possible. She gave us every tool to manage a sometimes-harsh world. She was able to do this because of what she had to overcome in her childhood. My mother was strong and powerful. She had to be because my brothers and I were more than a handful. We challenged he and 99% of the time she won but that didn’t stop us for continuing to test her. Her lessons were tough, but I believe those lessons have made us the men we are today.
I have read many books on leadership and what is interesting to me is that I had been receiving those lessons from my mother since I was five years old. It was the day she asked my father to leave and then told me as the oldest what my responsibilities would be. I know some of you may be saying that a lot to put on a five-year-old, but my mother was setting the stage for me and my brothers because she knew we had to be strong to face the challenges and roadblocks we would have.
What makes my mother such a great leader is that when we were young, she went to get assistance and was told you should go back to your husband. My mother was protecting us and from that day she was determined she would do this on her own. As I write this, I want you to understand that we had support from our extended family. It was a blessing for us and my mother. But we are who we are because of our mother. It took me a long time to understand what she tried to teach me. What is amazing to me is that even when I went astray, she was there when I needed help and support. Even though she was angry with me and she let me know it, she still treated me with dignity and supported me when I said I wanted to change. My mother is one of the reasons I became a nurse. I wanted to give back the same way she did for me.
My brothers and I were blessed to have one of the best mothers, teachers, and leaders. She won’t be in any books, nor will they erect a statue of her, but her legacy will live through us and will be passed on to all we encounter.
Phyllis Redd King Dignity Freedom Fighter.
Charles Redd RN
Son of Phyllis and Proud to be the brother of Ken and Tracy
Dignity Freedom Fighter 