Things have changed so much from when I was a child growing up in the late sixties into the seventies. Bullying meant something different back then. The bigger kids would take the smaller kids for lunch money or make fun of someone in class because they were short, tall, or overweight. I remember when I was in third grade and there was this fifth grader who would choose someone from the third grade each week to meet at 3 O’clock for a fight. One week was my turn. All day I was thinking about how I was going to avoid this fight. He was twice my size. I was blessed on that day because he decided to give me a pass because he liked me, but I saw him beat up many kids that year. I remember the anger and I would wish someone would come along bigger and stronger and beat him up.
Things have changed with the advent of social media. We are bombarded with images and videos every day. These images are often hard to turn off. This has brough bullying to a whole new level. It is not just confined to schools and on the playgrounds, but people have access to us 24/7. Those kids that are bullying in school are now doing it over social media. There is no getting away from it. It is why we continue to see an increase in depression, anxiety, and thoughts of harming ourselves. Many states track data around “Death from Despair” this is related to deaths from alcohol use, substance use, and suicides. There has been an increase in death from despair in our state of Massachusetts as well as here in Berkshire County. I am not saying that social media is the cause what I am saying is that people are hurting and when you hurt bad enough and long enough you will do whatever it takes to ease the pain.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I used to say that all the time when I was a kid, but I will let you know the names hurt me. I hear the “Talking Heads” on social media talk about how we must be strong and not let those words from others define us. I will say that I agree somewhat with that, but I also understand words have power. Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech moved millions to fight for civil rights, Dr. Maya Angelou’s poetry and writing helped to grow a movement that focused on childhood abuse and gave women a voice. We also know about the dictators throughout history and how their words allowed people to do horrific things. Words have power and now that power is on display 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
When we honor dignity, then it is hard to say things that will cause harm and even if we slip because we live with dignity, we accept that we caused harm and then we ask for forgiveness. People talk about how they have freedom of speech and that they can say what they want even if it is hateful. They are right but if you have dignity, you will look at things differently. I don’t use racial slurs or make fun of people because of their size. I could because I have free speech, but that comes with responsibility that we do not use it to do harm. I can’t stop others from making the choices they make, but I write this blog in hopes of helping those who are struggling because of the hateful words that are bringing them down. To paraphrase the late Jesse Jackson, “You are Somebody!!!”
Please continue to honor dignity through your words and actions.
“How wonderful it would be if we all, every one of us, became agents of dignity, purveyors of the truth that dignity is the birthright of all.” Dr, Donna Hicks PhD
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 