Dignity: A Message to My Children 

I am sending my prayers to the families and victims of the tragedies in New Orleans, Los Vegas, and the Bronx, New York.  

My children have come to me over the years with stories of people calling them the most hateful names and slurs. As a parent you wish you could have been there to stand up for them, but we know we can’t be there all the time to protect them from a world that can sometimes be harsh. I believe that most people are good but sometimes we allow the few to rent space in our heads which can have a significant impact on how we see, live, and view the world.  

It has taken me many years to learn how to stand strong against those who use words to try and tear you down. I will be honest with you. I don’t hear it often but when someone calls me the “N-word” I still have that anger within me that makes me want to lash out. Holding strong in my dignity and understanding who I am is what keeps me strong. It is that strength that I hope I am able to instill in my children. It is hard because I know the pain that they are in. People say they are just words, but those words have history, and they have meaning. They can hit at the core of our dignity. It is why I do not use them. It is why I have never said them to anyone because I know the harm they can cause. 

I am like most people. I want to be seen for who I am not just what I look like or where I am from. I want the opportunity to be judged by the content of my character. I want that for my 3 children as well. They all have big hearts and will stand up for those who at somepoint lost their ability to stand up for themselves. I hope that is what their parents taught them because it is going to take that strength that will stop others from robbing them of their dignity.  

What I will say to my children is this. When others try to take away your dignity it will hurt. It will be hard to not have their words live inside of you. It doesn’t always have to be racial. It could be about your weight or how you dress, or where you live. These moments build until they overwhelm you and slowly eat away at your dignity. I know. I have been there. It has taken me a long time to overcome that, and I am still working on it.  

There are no secrets or magical tricks. It is about learning who you are, setting goals for yourself, and reaching out for help. Don’t live in silence. Your parents are here to listen and support you. If not us, then your teachers or your friends, or a behavioral health professional. Do whatever it takes to hold tight to your dignity.  

I believe in you 

Dad 

Your Dignity Freedom Fighter