Dignity: I’ll Always Love My Mama 

Dignity: I’ll Always Love My Mama 

“If I had only known the last time 
Would be the last time 
I would have put off all the things I had to do 
I would have stayed a little longer 
Held on a little tighter 
Now what I’d give for one more day with you” 

Scars in Heaven-Casting Crowns 

The above lyrics are a song I have sung in church on many occasions. It is a song about losing someone you love. The next two lines describe how all my family is feeling as my mother Phyllis (Redd) King was called to heaven. 

“Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing” 

Anyone who has read this blog knows how important my mother was to my brothers Ken, Tracy, and I. I would call her the CEO of the Redd Family. Every opportunity I have been given is because of the sacrifices and love that my mother gave to me. If you ask my brothers, I know they would say the same things. My mother was not perfect but none of us are. She was perfect in everything she did to help three young men navigate the roadblocks that come with being raised by a single mother in the heart of Boston. My mother wasn’t just a strong Black woman she was a strong woman period. We had some tough times as a family, but my mother had a way of making everything alright. I didn’t realize how hard she worked to give us all the things we needed and didn’t need. My mother made Christmas the most memorable time of our lives. We asked for everything, and she would move heaven and earth to get it for us. Often members of our family would say we were spoiled but I say that my mother understood the hardships and challenges we experienced, and she wanted to make that one day a special day for us.  

There is no way that 600 words can describe what my mother meant to us. She was my first example of a leader. She was my first example of what dignity meant (Although I didn’t know it then). She taught us about forgiveness because the Lord knows her sons did some stupid things. She had this look when she got mad or was disappointed in you. Even though we all towered over this 5-foot 6 inch 120-pound women that look would make you want to curl up in a ball. The love my mother had for us was truly unconditional. No one could say a bad word about her boys even if it was true. She was our rock and foundation. 

My mother taught me what love and commitment meant. I saw this in the love she had for our Pop Wayne King. They had a love that spanned over thirty years of makeups and breakups. When they finally committed to marriage my mother got to spend the rest of her life with her soulmate and life partner. When Pop became sick my mother was there. When he needed an advocate, my mother was the one. When he needed a caretaker, my mother did it without a second thought or regret. It was that strong love they had for each other that in the most difficult times they were there for each other.  

The gifts my mother gave to the three of us have and will be passed on to those we love. Everything good in her sons comes from the love she gave to us. I tell people all the time if you know me you know Phyllis. Her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will continue that legacy of love and dignity started by the Queen (My brother Tracy calls her that). 

Ma, Grandma Phyllis, and Grandma we miss you. You are gone but not forgotten. 

Phyllis King the Queen of Dignity. 

Charles Redd RN 

Dignity Freedom Fighter