When I think about all the different roles and experiences that I have had as a nurse I do not regret taking on any one of them. Each moment and each job brought important life lessons for me. These lessons have allowed me to learn and grow as a person. Each experience has helped breakdown those wall that have been created by my life experiences and the biases that I carry. One of my favorite roles I have had as a nurse was when I worked for Noble Visiting Nurse and Hospice. I was a weekend nurse. It was a second job for me. We covered Westfield, Mass and the surrounding Hilltown’s. I had done this work before as a home health aide but that was when I lived in Boston.
The interesting thing for me is that when I told friends and colleagues about taking the role they questioned if an area that had a majority White population would welcome a Black male nurse into their homes. One person said to me, “Charles most of the people you will see are in the seventies and eighties and you know how that generation can be.” I allowed people to fill my head with those thoughts, and I went into this job with my guard up and my bias shield intact. I wasn’t going to give any of those people a chance to break me. I was going to prove I was just as good as any of those White nurses. That is how I felt in the beginning. It was a reality for me most of my growing up. Always trying to prove I belonged. In the end what I discovered is that if people believe you are there to help them and you listen and are engaged, they will see past the outer shell and are willing to open up to you. I was also willing to put aside my biases and I was able to create connections that have changed the way I am as a person and a nurse.
I discovered people would talk to me. Sometimes I was the first person that they had talked to in a week. I had a twenty-page assessment to do. I studied that assessment and then I created a questionnaire so that I could ask questions, but it also allowed the person to share their stories with me. This mattered to them and to me because it helped in their treatment planning and created a relationship built on trust. When I started to change my thinking and approach even some of the toughest patients welcomed me into their homes and shared their life stories with me.
I remember one patient who was a hospice patient that I had to see. She was having some issues with pain management. It was the first time we met. I was with her for about 30 minutes. About 3 months later I had to go to that patient’s home to do a nurse death pronouncement. I met her 3 daughters and when I introduced, they said “You’re the famous Charles.” It amazed me how that 30 minutes left such an impact on their mother that she told them about me. They were so grateful because their mother said I treated her with kindness and for a “giant man” I was so gentle. It reminded me how even in those short moments you can make an impact.
I will leave you with the words of the poet Maya Angelou,
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
AMEN
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 