There is this phrase I use to hear called “Suffering in silence.” I don’t know where it came from or who said it, but I used to be a master at it. I would hold on to the pain. It was the pain that I suffered at the hands of others, but it was also the pain I caused that harmed others. For me there was no difference in how it affected me because eventually the outcome would cause me to have significant challenges in my life. It took me a long time to learn that I had to forgive myself first, forgive those who caused me harm, and to ask for forgiveness from people I have harmed. It is a long road that I continue to travel. In this journey I have found that I want to help others as they take this road of honoring dignity. It hurts me to know that people suffer in silence because I know that in doing so it has an impact on them and those around them.
In my role as diversity officer, I have this amazing opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds who have amazing stories to tell. I am honored that someone is willing to share their story with me. Life is about building relationships, and it opens the door to the possibility of helping someone or maybe someone helping you. I have been a nurse for half my life and the joy of making a difference is what I live for. It’s not about the praise or pat on the back. It is about knowing that I could help someone have a voice so that they no longer suffer in silence. There are times in my role when I hear stories, and it breaks my heart when someone has lost hope or felt like they were not being heard. I know that pain and my goal is to help them find that voice.
I remember I had a job as a nursing assistant in a long-term care facility. This was a place outside of Boston where bullying was the culture. If they didn’t like you, they would do whatever it took to make you leave. I happened to be one of the lucky ones (At least I thought so). They all liked me until I became conerned about the care the residents were receiving. I said something to my manager because someone needed to speak for the patients who depended on us for their care. What I did not realize was that my manager was part of and the leader of the alpha group and what happened to me is something I will never forget. I reported the bullying and retaliation up the leadership latter but the treatment continued until I left. It was hard and I had regrets at first about opening my mouth but in the end I knew I did the right thing even though in the end I lost my job.
When we are harmed or we see something that is wrong there is this fear of retaliation and maybe that we will lose our job or our friends. When we do what is right sometimes the end result is we may lose something or things may not go our way. It took me a longtime to recover from losing my job. But I learned that suffering in silence not only has negative consequense for me but also for all those who are doing the same. Sometimes it takes that one voice to say enough even if we know that in doing that there could be concequenses. My mother Phyllis Redd King taught us to stand up for what is right. She did it for her boys and in her memory we continue that tradition. I will do my best to help those who feel they have lost their voice. This is the opportunity and gift I have been given and I hope I can live up to the standards set by my mama.
Let Your Voice be Heard.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 