Just the other day I was looking at the wall of memories at my house. They were pictures which told the story of the last twenty-five years of my life. The wedding photos, the children at various stages of their lives, and family that are no longer with us. As I stared at the pictures, they brought forward many emotions such as love, happiness, joy, pain, victories, losses, scrapped knees, arguments, the love of family, sadness because of loss, and the yearly traditions. As things change the more, we try to hold on because we want things to stay the same. The reality is our children are no longer babies and what once seemed so important to us as parents are not as important to them as they begin to discover there is a big wide world out there with so many opportunities.
I must be honest, although I do not show it on the outside I have struggled as my three children have grown. I want to hold them close because I see the dangers that are out there, and I have experienced things that I want to protect them from, but I know that is not the reality. They must take those journeys on their own like I did. They must learn from their choices like I did. All I can do as a parent is hope that I gave them the tools to make the right choices. It is scary and I worry but I never let them know because I want them to feel free to live their lives and know that whatever happens, I will always love them.
My mother was that kind of parent. It took me awhile, but I learned from the best. My children Dakota and Anthony have been blessed with an amazing mother. She would move the earth for them. She gets that from her parents. I see the kind of mother my daughter Cassandra is to my grandson Eli. I hope I was as good a father to learn from. Still, it is difficult to realize time has gone by so fast and those family traditions that we hold so tight to are changing as our children grow independent and have dreams of their own.
When we hold so tightly to those traditions what is the reason. I know for me I am trying to hold on to the past knowing that the future means change. I am heading to the next stage in my life. It is the one where I must let my children grow and begin to start their own traditions and walls of memories. The hard thing is that you don’t know when it is coming. One minute you are holding this tiny life in your hands and the next minute they are teenagers, and they want to skip the yearly family traditional vacation because they have other commitments. As a father who is having trouble letting go, I want to say “no” this is the one time we get to spend time as a family. As someone who used to be a teenager, I understand the need to want to be independent.
When that moment comes, I hope I will make the right decisions. I hope I will take the time to listen and weigh all the options. I hope I will treat my children with the same dignity my mother did for me. Even birds who leave their nests fall many times before they can soar above the clouds.
To my children, although it is hard to let go, I want to give you the opportunity to fly high above the clouds.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 