When you work in a profession where you care for people one of the hardest things to do is to remember that you need to take care of yourself. It is something that I have to constantly remind myself to do. It can be challenging because I want to help people. That is why I became a nurse and took on the role of DEI Officer. I want to help make a difference for the people in my community. In my journey I have come to realize that I cannot help everyone. As hard as I try, I will have failures. I will make mistakes. But I must be honest, often the misses can weigh on me more than the celebrations will uplift me. I am not sure why that happens. I think it could be the arrogance of thinking I can save everyone. Maybe I have a difficult time excepting the failure because I know what it can cost that person. Whatever the reason I can find it challenging to shake that feeling that I couldn’t help.
This work many of us do can make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. When you are in that space every oversight, no matter how small, can feel like a massive failure. In our minds we can understand that these things happen, and we ask for forgiveness if needed but there are times we can get in this cycle, and everything wears you down. It makes you want to through your hands up in the air and say, “I surrender.”
The past few weeks I have been there. Even us people with senior leadership titles can feel the pressure. We think we must stay strong for the team. We can’t show weakness. We need to pick up our heads and move forward. In my experience that doesn’t work. Just like we would say to the teams or people we lead you must take care of yourself. I have experienced times when I did not listen to what my body was telling me, and it did not end well for me. The biggest challenge for me is to know when the time comes, I must ask for help. I have to find a place where I can just talk, and someone listens. I don’t want them to tell me I am doing a get job or that I am making a difference. I want someone to just listen.
We all need a place where someone will listen to us and give us guidance during difficult times. It is what I do as a nurse, a father, a husband, a colleague, and a friend. We all need that person to help us through the mind fields of life. It could be a friend, a therapist, a spiritual guide, or a coworker. Whatever it takes we need to talk these things out before they come out in other ways. Being vulnerable is not a weakness. It is an opportunity to realize we are human and sometimes even the strongest of us need help.
If you are out there and you are struggling, reach out for help. Being strong is being able to admit you need support. That is what I am doing.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 