After my mom passed on December 10, 2023, I was given a gift from two amazing friends. It was a lantern and it said “God has you in His keeping. We have you in our hearts.” I want my friends Evelyn and Alyssa to know how much I appreciate this gift. Every tenth of the month I light the lantern in memory of my mother Phyllis King. When people leave us there is this fear that we will forget them. I worry. My mother was such an important part of my life and the lives of my brothers, that I want to keep her memory alive not just for me but for my family. I want to share her wisdom with them so that they can benefit from what she gave to my brothers and me. Today I am going to share one of the last conversations we had that has helped me in my challenges.
I visited my mother back in October of 2023 for two weeks. We were talking and I was telling her about the challenges of my role as diversity officer. She stopped me in the middle of my statement and said this to me. “Son, when I decided to ask your father to leave that was the hardest decision I have ever made. I knew it was the right one, but it was still hard. I knew that I would be raising the three of you on my own and that was scary to me. I had to be everything, and I knew if I failed it could affect you boys and your opportunity to have a good life.” My mother said she knew people would question her decision to leave my father, but she knew for her boys she had too. When she went for help (Back in the 1970s) the social service agencies in Boston would not help her and one person even told her she should get back with her husband. My mother knew then she was on her own. She didn’t have time to question, she had to move forward and figure out how she was going to make sure we were cared for.
My mother knew the odds of success in a single parent home were difficult but that didn’t stop her from doing what she had to do. Times were hard but it didn’t seem that way to us because she was our strength. My mother said I wasn’t perfect but everything I did was to help you boys have a better life. She wanted me to know that you are creating something that hasn’t been done where you work. She said the CEO hired you because she believed that you are the right person. There will be obstacles and challenges. People will doubt you and you will make mistakes but always remember that you have the gift to be successful. Our family was built on the backs of those who didn’t believe we could make it. She said the challenges we made it through have prepared you boys to continue the great work I know you are capable of.
Today I remember my mentor and my hero Phyllis King. She was a leader, a mother, and a creator of leaders. We (Charles, Ken, and Tracy) are her legacy, and we continue to share her wisdom to all we meet.
“I am proud of my sons”-Phyllis King
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 