I started reading and listening to a book that was written by Nobel Peace Prize award winner the Bishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu. The book is called “The Book of Forgiving”. I believe that my next journey on this dignity path is that I needed to learn to forgive past hurts then in turn I would learn to acknowledge and right the wrongs I have done. When I came upon this book, I thought who better than Bishop Tutu could teach me about forgiveness because that is the journey that he, Nelson Mandela and the Black leaders in South Africa had to take when they were released from prison. Because they we able to forgive they were able to begin the journey to unite South Africa. I need to learn this because it will be the only way that I can become a better person, a better leader, and a better father.
I love this book because you are not just reading, it includes lessons that you need to do after each chapter. One of the first lessons profoundly impacted me that I want to share with you. I needed to find a stone. One that was big enough to fit in my hand but not so big that I could not close my hand over it. The assignment was to hold it in my non-dominant hand for six hours and go about my day as normal, but I could not put down the rock. You can imagine the challenges this causes. I learned an important lesson from this, and that lesson is that the stone represents the anger we continue to carry because we cannot forgive the hurt and pain that someone has caused us. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? All we need to do is drop the rock and the pain goes away. Well, it is not that easy. It is a journey, and I am choosing to take this road so that I can drop that stone and release my anger so that I can learn to forgive and learn to be forgiven.
Past hurts and dignity violations still drive me at times. Even when I am successful, I still feel I need to be validated that I earned my way here and that I am relevant. It angers me that I feel that way. It frustrates me that I feel I need acceptance and acknowledgment from others to gain my self-worth. In my head I know this is not needed but still these feelings present themselves and I find it difficult to hush those voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough. I think this is why the lesson with the stone has so much meaning to me. It has opened my eyes to the fact that I still have work to do. That even the Dignity Freedom Fighter must overcome those dignity violations he has experienced. I think it is why I want to help others who come to me when they feel they are not heard. I understand what it means to not feel you have a voice. I know what it is like to not only have your voice taken from you but to also be someone who has robbed others of their voice. It is my way to honor dignity as I make my way thought the land mines in my head.
Before I conclude this post, I want to celebrate the dignity freedom fighters from Wahconah Regional High School in Central Berkshire. I had the honor of attending their twenty-ninth year of their Civility Assembly. They had a special guest Patrick Tutwiler, Ph.D., Secretary of Education of Massachusetts. Secretary Tutwiler gave a great talk but what truly impressed me was that for the last 29 years the educators at Wahconah have been working hard to create an environment that honors the dignity of all. They recognized the challenges in 1998 and continue to do the hard work in creating an inclusive environment. They have a student lead group called “No Place for Hate.” You might ask why we need that, but it is all about creating a place where kids can thrive, learn, and grow.
I will be transparent. Both my children are part of the school system. One has graduated and the other is a junior. I have seen changes in my son since he entered high school. I am honored to know that what he learns at home continues at his school. I want to thank Principal Aaron Rob (It all comes down to Leadership) and all the educators and students who honor the dignity of all. I am blessed to have you as partners in this movement to honor dignity.
Dignity Freedom Fighters
Charles Redd RN and the Wahconah Regional High School “Go Blue”
Dignity Freedom Fighter 