I did not write a dignity post last week. I had difficulty getting my thoughts together. It happens sometimes but last week seemed different. I find myself at a crossroads. I think we all have those moments when we question if we are where we are supposed to be. I wonder as my journey as a nurse has taken me further and further from the bedside. It was a place I excelled in. I found I had a way to connect with people. All people. It didn’t matter about their race or where they came from in those short but challenging moments I could connect. I understood that I was caring for someone at the most vulnerable time in their lives. They were depending on me to help them. I was their voice when they could not speak. I was the hand to hold when they were scared and sometimes, I just listened. Trust me, I wasn’t always perfect, but I strived to be the best nurse I could be even at the moments when the person I was caring for wasn’t at their best. I miss being side by side with my colleagues doing the hard but important work.
My role as the diversity officer has taken me the farthest, I have ever been from patient care. I am in a place I have never been before. Being the leader of an initiative that will impact both the organization and the community. It is at times overwhelming, and I am constantly learning to navigate in worlds that were out of touch for me most of my life. I was now part of the movers and shakers. I have an important title that comes with BIG responsibility. I take that seriously but there is a part of me that misses the connection I had with patients. I miss doing the work that as a nurse I was trained to do. I ask myself if I have moved away from my calling?
I still speak to my mom even though she is no longer here. A good friend told me that the people who have left us are waiting for us to ask for their help. I ask my mother for advice every day. I can hear her voice in my head. It is funny how the answers to your questions are right in front of your face. Every day I get to stand side by side with some of the most amazing people in my community. They are doing the hard and challenging work of helping our community members who are struggling every day. We have people in our community who do not know from one day to the next where they will lay their head or where their next meal will come from. We have people who are trying to balance how they will feed their families while trying to figure out how to keep the lights on or how to pay their rent. We have 2-3 families living in 1-bedroom apartments just trying to survive. I know this to be true because my community partners see it and live it every day. Also, that was me for a good part of my life. I understand and I have never forgotten the struggles and all the people who helped me.
My work is the same but from where I sit my voice is heard by those who can make a difference. I am the reminder that we have work to do. We have to answer the questions why the average life expectancy in the United States is 76 years and Black men have a life expectancy of 67 years. Why is Berkshire County near last in health outcomes and near the top in premature deaths. Why is our rate of diabetes at 10% of the population led by Hispanics and Blacks and why do we have the highest mortality rates for heart disease and cancer in the state. These questions must be answered, and change must come not just now but for generations.
As long as I am able, I will be the voice for those who are not heard. I will be the partner to those who are doing the hard work. It is not just because it is my job. It is because honoring dignity requires it.
Bishop Desmond Tutu said,
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.”
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 