As I take my dignity walk, I have come to realize that strong desire we have to be treated with dignity. We want to be accepted for who we are. We want to be acknowledged and feel like we matter. We want to be included and feel like we have a sense of belonging. We want to be given the benefit of the doubt. It is that desire to be seen and heard and to know we have value, it is something that is built in our DNA. We want to be treated fairly and to feel safe and have the freedom to be who we are. When our dignity is violated, or we violate someone’s dignity it becomes important to right the wrong not only to regain our dignity but to honor the dignity of others. These are those Elements of Dignity that Dr. Donna Hicks PhD talks about. It seems so easy a walk, but life has a way of challenging you and when you are challenged it is the ultimate test for you to hold true to what is right and that is to honor dignity.
I have been challenged these past few weeks to stay on the dignity path. I have experienced violations of my dignity, but I have also in frustration done the same in return. It is intersting how difficult it is to hold fast to dignity once you feel you have been harmed. You become quick to respond. You make judgements when you don’t have all the information. Instead of listening you speak out of anger as you feel like your dignity is being taken away. Any challenge to your thoughts and ideas escalates and anger rules over rationality. I have been angry. Instead of taking a step back and listening I have been frustrated and have lacked focus. I have been so focused on defending myself that I couldn’t see what was happening. I was reacting to a violation of my dignity, but I also allowed my dignity to be taken from me so that I was now acting in an undignified way.
I am not saying that we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves. Honoring dignity requires that you acknowledge that violation and you speak to the person who violated your dignity. We must do this in such a manner that we do not treat that person the way they treated us. We honor their dignity while getting our point across to them about how they made us feel. There is a direct relationship between honoring your dignity and honoring the dignity of others. They must work together. Any violation of either will lead you down the road I was heading down. I am angry and I question my value and self-worth. The thing that pushed me is that I want to make a difference. I want to help everyone. I know that I can’t, but I will always try. It is who I am. But when I allow someone to take my dignity I forget, and I am like a snowball rolling downhill.
When I was lying in bed last night thinking in the silence something came to me. It was something I read in the book “Leading with Dignity” by Dr. Hicks PhD. She talked about the three connections to dignity, and they are connecting to the dignity of self, others, and something higher. It was the something higher I forgot about. The something higher for me is my faith but it will be different for each of us. I have come to realize that the third connection is what helps us stay focused even after our dignity has been violated. We set principles and standards for ourselves that keep us from being that snowball rolling down a mountain.
I am better today but this was a reminder that I still have work to do. It is also a reminder that I am human but each moment of failure I build those calluses. It only makes me stronger in my determination to speak on the importance of honoring dignity.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 