Dignity: Be Present 

There have been some amazing things that have happened to me over the last year when I took on my role as Diversity Officer. I have been in the newspaper numerous times; I am on a billboard and television commercial for Berkshire Community College that I graduated from 28 years ago and I was featured on the Massachusetts Hospital Association website as a leader in Health Equity. You would think I would be sitting on top of the world. I have been given many blessings over the past few months and I am honored. The person I was about 10 years ago would have been standing high on the mountain top pounding my chest and saying “Look at me. I told you I could make it.” Back then I was insecure but also, I did not understand what the true meaning of leadership was. As I take this walk, I have come to learn more and more that being a leader is less about me and more about the work and people I lead.  

I heard the quote from Deon Sanders aka Coach Prime (Yes, I am going there). He said something the caused me to pause and think. He said, “Being a leader is not about being perfect it is about being present.” As I have said many times, I haven’t made the best choices in my life, especially in my twenties. These choices not only had a negative effect on me but on those people in my life. It took me a long time before I could sit down and look at who I was and try and figure out how to change.  

As I worked on changing, I felt I had to be perfect to make up for the things I did wrong in my life. I had to say yes to helping everyone to make up for those I hurt. What I began to realize is that I wasn’t helping anyone, and I was causing more harm because I wasn’t present. My life was spiraling because I was trying to fill that dark void inside by saying look at all the great things, I am doing this should make up for all the bad. I wasn’t doing this because it was right. I was trying to balance the scale so that the good would outweigh the bad. By doing this I wasn’t helping anyone my acts were selfish not selfless. The leader I was then wasn’t successful. I had to change who I was as a person so that I could learn to be a better leader. 

I am learning to be more present. I am more present for my family. I am more present in my work. I have come to understand that I can’t help everyone but that I can do my best to lead them to those who can help them. I no longer work to balance the scale, but I work to make a difference. My success means that I made a difference for someone. When I look back on my life, I want to see those who I have helped. My rewards will be seen not in trophies on the shelf or framed certificates on my walls. It will come in the lives I have helped to change and the opportunities I have helped give to others. My journey is to give back to others what was given to me. It is to be present and lead with humility, strength, and dignity. 

When my time comes, and my life’s walk has ended I do not know where my faith journey will take me or what I will have to answer for, but today and every day I have on this earth I will walk, be present and make every day a day I will embrace dignity because that is how you change yourself and how you change a culture. 

Charles Redd RN 

Dignity Freedom Fighter.