I recently attended a ceremony that featured a young man who had a very challenging and difficult life. He had been in an out of many institutions and programs since age three. He had no family, so he had to depend on the programs to be his family. This young man talked about his challenges and the anger he had. He was bounced from place to place so he could not develop relationships or trust so when he entered a new program, he would display anger and aggressive behavior and in his own words he said he did this because he did not want to form attachments because he knew they would send him to another program. It was better to keep people at a distance so he would not get hurt.
When you put this in terms of dignity it was those violations of dignity that led this young man to feel that he needed to protect himself so he would not be hurt as he was repeatedly. When we rob a young person of their dignity the ramifications will be significant. Dr. Donna Hicks PhD states, “Everyone wants to be treated in a way that shows they matter” This young man was not treated in a way that made him feel like he mattered and for him this was significant because he had no family to stand up for him. His family was the people who he had to protect his dignity from.
His story puts my story in perspective. I grew up with my two brothers and my mother. My mother raised three boys in Boston on her own. We were lucky and we had family support but mostly it was my mother who raised us. We were lucky because our mother understood the value of treating her children like they matter. She was kind and loving but could also be tough when we got out of line. It was all part of treating us with dignity in the good times as well as the difficult times. We knew she would always be there for us with that tough love that made us feel safe. We were blessed which is why we are where we are today.
The young man finally made it to a program that made the commitment to honor his dignity. They gave him that tough love. When he fought, they did not send him away. They let him know there were consequences to his behaviors but instead of pushing him away they held him closer. They honored his dignity and because of that he was able to turn his life around and he was able to stand up in front of a room full of successful people and shine above all. This organization called Hillcrest Educational Centers put dignity first to allow a young man to realize his full potential.
I speak about dignity every day because of stories like this. I speak about dignity because I have seen what it can do not just in the lives of others but in my own. Nothing is impossible when you lead with dignity.
“Without dignity, identity is erased.”
― Laura Hillenbrand, Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption
Charles Redd RN, Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 