Every year since 2017 I have received a message from a former patient because they are celebrating another year of sobriety. She took her last drink the day she came to the hospital I worked at back in 2017, and she said that it was how I treated her and her family at their most challenging moment that helped her make the decision to stop drinking and seek treatment. I am no superhero, nor did I do anything different than any other nurse. She said it was how I treated her that helped open her eyes and realize she needed help. Her family is grateful they have their mother back. Back then I did not know about honoring dignity. I would not truly understand the importance of honoring dignity until 2020 when I would read Dr. Donna Hicks PhD book, Leading with Dignity and when I made honoring dignity an important part of who I am.
It can be difficult sometimes to hold on to those principles of dignity like having biases. We hear a lot about bias and how it can guide our behaviors. Many of the theories out there talk about conscious and unconscious bias. We all have them. They grow from our lived experiences. They often guide us through life’s most difficult moments. Bias can come in the form of race, generational, sex, where you live, socioeconomic status, or religious beliefs. When we interact with someone, we can form our opinions about them based on what we see and hear. This is normal but it is what we do with that information and how we treat that person is what truly matters.
I believe that when we connect to our dignity, and we honor the dignity of others, it is how we can overcome our biases. I believe it is the missing link when we are sitting in a room in bias training or watching a video. We have thoughts but the goal is to not let those wrong thoughts dictate your behavior. It is not easy and sometimes that pause, and that deep breath helps bring you back into focus. As Dr. Hicks says in her book Leading with Dignity, “Everyone wants to be treated in a way that shows they matter.” I remember the day the patient came to the hospital. We thought she was having a stroke. All tests were negative and then her bloodwork came back with a high alcohol level. I had a negative thought come to my mind until I saw the shock and the embarrassing looks on the faces of her family. It changed my interaction. I became a partner with the family to help their mother and I became a support for her. We were able to get her into treatment and as of today she has been alcohol free for six years and enjoying her time with family.
I am not writing this post so that I can receive praise. I am writing to help us all understand the importance of honoring the dignity of others. We never know in those moments when we could have an impact on someone’s life. What I have expressed to this woman and her family is that as much as they believe I help them they helped me. They started me on my dignity journey. I could have chosen my first thought and reaction, but I chose to put aside those biases in order to help a family on their journey. I am a much better nurse and person because I made that choice.
“You only win when you maintain your dignity. Dignity always prevails”
Dr. Donald Shirley from the movie “Green Book”
Next Blog will be 3/17/2023.
Dignity Freedom Fighter 