In the next two weeks I will be speaking at the surgical and medical grand rounds which is amazing to me when I think back to how I started in my life. I was the oldest of three boys being raised by a single parent during the 1970s in inner city Boston. Just those facts alone would make people think that our opportunity for success would be challenged, but if they knew my mother, they would have no doubt that we would be put in the best position to succeed. Our family story is for another day and another blog.
As a young man I struggled with reading and writing. I was so embarrassed about my inability to spell that I would use the sloppiest handwriting so that you would not know I could not spell. I would even avoid reading to my children because I was afraid of stumbling over words. I spent much of my late teens and early twenties angry. I went through a lot in my life, and I made some bad choices like many of us have. But what I have discovered is that all those life experiences over the last 58 years have prepared me for this time and this moment. If you had told the younger me that I would be a nurse, hold leadership positions, and be the Diversity Officer of an organization I would have laughed at you. At no time in my life did I ever think I would have graduated from college let alone have a master’s degree.
When I was introduced to the Dignity Model by my friend and colleague Yemisi Oloruntola-Coates it changed my life, it changed how I lead, and it prepared me to be the leader I need to be at work and at home. The Ten Essentials of Dignity created by Dr. Donna Hicks PhD are my foundation. Everything I do is built off these 10 elements
- Accepting of Identity
- Recognition
- Acknowledgment
- Inclusion
- Safety
- Fairness
- Independence
- Understanding
- Benefit of the Doubt
- Righting the Wrong
When I added the Vulnerability Inventory it is what has led me to my current role as Diversity Officer. Dr. Hicks states:
“Vulnerability Inventory helps us identify the circumstances that “push our buttons,” potentially creating conflicts in our relationships. Early violations of dignity leave a deep emotional imprint that if left unexamined; have the power to negatively influence our relationships as adults. Being aware of these vulnerabilities helps us understand our sensitivities and how to overcome them so that they do not create problems for us in the present.”
Understanding my vulnerabilities and always remembering where I have been, where I am now and what my future will be is what drives me to try and do what is right. When I am out in the community, I hear the stories of people’s journey to come to America, or people having to make choices between buying food or heating their home or being homeless. I understand the struggle because I can relate too much of it, but it is not about me telling them my story, it is about me listening. It is about making connections in the hopes that I can help change their lives like many who have changed mine.
I have come to realize that I am one of the fortunate ones. I have been put in a position to make a difference. I can be the voice for those who feel like they do not have one. I have been put in a position to honor the dignity of those who have had their dignity violated. It is an opportunity I will honor and value with all that I have.
I leave you with the words of Marianne Willimson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We are all meant to shine, as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Go out and let your light shine
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 