I have been writing about dignity since July of 2020. I was introduced to dignity and the Dignity Model by my colleague, former Chief of Diversity & Inclusion at Baystate and who is now the Chief Inclusion & Equity Officer at GBH in Boston. Yemisi Oloruntola-Coates. She introduced me to the book written by Donna Hicks PhD called, Leading with Dignity: How to Create a Culture that Brings Out the Best in People. I recommend this book to everyone but especially to anyone in a leadership position. I do not get any benefits from this recommendation. I do this because I know it can change not only how you see yourself but how you interact with others and how they interact with you. When I read about the Ten Essentials of Dignity, I understood that dignity was something we all had. It was our right. It was given to us the moment we were born.
When we honor dignity, it opens those doors to conversation. It is the equalizer. Dignity doesn’t care who you are or what you believe. It is the one thing we all have in common. When we honor it, we can do great things. When we violate dignity, it can lead to wars.
Honoring dignity has made me a better leader and a better person. I have seen it bring divided teams together. I have seen it bridge the gap between different cultures and people with different beliefs. When we honor dignity, it leads to truth and that truth helps us look at what we all have in common that we want to be treated with dignity.
I was not always this way. It took me 57 of my 58 years on this earth to figure this out and I am still working at it. The great thing about life is that when you think you have it all figured out you find out you don’t. Life also has a way to keep you humble. It sends those reminders to you so that you do not forget where you came from and that every day, we must continue to do the work to make this world a better place.
Accountability: “Take responsibility for your actions: apologize if you have violated another person’s dignity: make a commitment to change hurtful behaviors.” – Donna Hicks PhD, Leading with Dignity: How to Create a Culture that Brings Out the Best in People.
I recently reconnected with an old friend who I haven’t seen in 25 years. We worked together at a long-term care facility and became friends. As we talked about the past, I started to remember that at times I wasn’t the best person to them. I allowed past pain and hurt to dictate how I treated people. I did not realize it then, but it was my response to past dignity violations. This person never did anything but treat me with dignity. My choices led to a friendship lost. It is something I regret to this very day. It is hard to apologize and admit you caused someone pain, but it is what I had to do. I held myself accountable and I apologized for the pain I caused. In that moment between two people dignity was honored.
I hope that we will be able to renew that friendship we lost so long ago. Who knows as the future has not been written yet but in that moment, I believe we both were able to find forgiveness. I was able to forgive myself and right a wrong and they were open enough to acknowledge, listen, and understand enough to forgive me. It was a reminder to me of the power of dignity.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 