A few weeks ago, I was at the Red Rose Restaurant in Springfield Ma. I was there having dinner with my wife. When we were seated there was a table next to us with a large family. At that table was a young girl who was looking at me with this big smile on her face. I nodded and smiled back. There was a gentleman sitting at the head of the table and he told me that I looked like someone on one of his daughter’s favorite television shows. The young girl approached our table to say hi. She was 10 years old, and she also had Down’s Syndrome. She had a smile that could light up a room. She visited for a minute and then went back to her table. What is most important about this story is the response from the adults at the table. It was a reminder to me that not all people respond with kindness the way my wife and I did.
There were four adults at the table and each one at some point during the meal approached our table to thank us for being so understanding. They were also apologizing and hoped she was not bothering us. We said that there was no need to apologize and that she made our day with that smile. In those short conversations I began to ask myself this question, “Why did they feel the need to apologize?” It took me a minute and then I began to see why.
This young girl has what the Special Olympics calls an intellectual disability. I know from my experience working with the United Cerebral Palsy of the Berkshires this is a group that is often bullied and discriminated against. I have seen it and experienced it with them. As I began to remember I began to understand why these adults were thanking us and apologizing. They have witnessed situations where the interactions were not positive. Our response unfortunately for them was unique.
As a Blackman I have experienced being judged by the color of my skin. When I was young those experiences used to anger me. Those experiences caused me to become angry. I put up a wall to protect myself and I lived by the moto I will hurt you before you can hurt me. It took me a long time to conquer and overcome my anger. Now I use those feelings of hurt to remind myself to try and never deny or dishonor someone’s dignity. I use my past hurts to remind myself to not judge people by how they look but by who they are.
The young girl we met may never know how those few moments that she interacted with two strangers had a profound effect on them. I cannot speak for my wife, but I know she would agree that we are just a little bit better as people because we were able to share that moment with this young girl and her family and I hope we were able to do the same for them. There is no better feeling when we can honor the dignity of others.
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 