As a child I learned many valuable lessons from my mother, one of them was when she was talking, I was to listen. I learned that lesson the hard way most times. What I did not realize was that my mother was teaching the value of listening. The strength of a leader is their ability to listen to what their team is telling them. Think about those times when someone is speaking to you. You see their lips move. You know words are coming out of their mouths, but you do not hear what they are saying because you are thinking about your response.
I had that problem not only at the beginning of my leadership journey but also in my everyday life. I forgot the lesson that my mother taught me about being an active listener because I choose not to listen. It led to many failures in my life, especially as a leader. When I was given a title, I thought it meant I had all the answers. I would hear what my staff was saying but I did not listen, and I made decisions based on what I thought was right. When I decided that I was not going to listen that led to many failures. I failed not because the plan was wrong but because I discounted the thoughts and opinions of the staff. I violated their dignity and when your team does not value you as a leader you will fail.
Dr. Donna Hicks, Ten Essentials of Dignity helped me to understand what I was doing when I decided I would not value the thoughts of others.
- Inclusion: I made them feel left out.
- Acknowledgement: They felt like what they had to offer had no value.
- Recognition: I did not validate them for their work and the talents they brought to the table.
- Responsiveness: I did not respond to their concerns. I was right and that was it.
- Understanding: I did not listen to their thoughts and opinions or consider their perspectives.
(Donna Hicks PhD Leading with Dignity, 2018)
I have worked hard to listen more but there are times I slip back to the old me, but the positive is that I recognize it and then I work to correct the behavior.
Leadership is a gift and an opportunity to make a difference but for me I get the greatest satisfaction when I see people that I lead grow into something more than they ever thought possible. When we take on the responsibility to lead, we are obligated to listen and learn from and about the people we lead. I was fortunate enough to have leaders who invested in me and recognized my potential, and I am carrying that forward to help others meet their potential.
“Leadership is unlocking people’s potential to become better.” –Bill Bradley: former U.S. Senator and professional basketball player.
Thank you, Ma, for all my leadership lessons
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 