Morning,
First, I want you all to know I am working on the front page of my Blog. I hope to have it completed by next week.
It is Dignity Friday and I want to continue talking about our own personal dignity journey. I am often asked why I write these messages every Friday. Well, at first, I did it for a team I was lucky enough to lead. I wanted them to know that I was committed to their success and that I heard their concerns and that what they said had value and it required my commitment and dedication. It has evolved into so much more over the last year.
Dignity has taught me to take an inventory of my life. It helped me understand the choices that I have made in my life and how I could become a better person. Reading and practicing what Dr. Donna Hicks has written in both her books on dignity has taught me to connect to my own dignity, connect to the dignity of others, and to that of something higher. I share my stories and thoughts with the hopes of making a difference. I believe that someone could learn from some of the choice I made, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I believe when we can be vulnerable that we open ourselves to something greater. It not about weakness. It takes strength and a strong dignity foundation to let people into your heart, soul, and mind. I believe and know that all people need to be treated with dignity. It is how we will change things.
I encourage you to read Dr. Hicks books on Dignity. I have included her website below or you can go to any book store. I promote her books freely as I believe in what she is teaching about dignity. I am not compensated in any way.
Home – Donna Hicks (drdonnahicks.com)
Dignity: Why am I always the last to be picked
Inclusion: No one likes to feel left out or that they don’t belong. When we are included, we feel good about who we are. When we are excluded from things that matter to us, we feel an instant reaction of self-doubt. What is it about me that I wasn’t included? This is an affront to our dignity at all levels of human interaction. _ Dr. Donna Hicks
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
I love this quote from Maya Angelou. She is someone who I believe is a great example of taking their own dignity journey. She shared her vulnerabilities with all of us through her books and poetry and she was able to change millions of young women’s lives.
As a young man I struggled finding my place and feeling included. I worked hard to be accepted. I wanted the approval of others. Because I relied on others to define who I was it was difficult for me to figure out my purpose. When you are excluded your first thought is, “What is wrong with me?” You then become someone that you think others will like and when that doesn’t work you can become angry which causes you to violate the dignity of others as well as yourself.
I eventually became angry and I hurt those who cared about me and even worse I hurt myself. My late teens into my twenties were a journey through anger, self-harm, and hurting others. I did not care. Before you can reject me and hurt me I was going to do it first. I was not going to be picked last again that is what happens when people do not feel included.
I cannot tell you what changed me. I do not really know the single moment I became a different person. What I do know is that I did not understand why I was the way I was until I was introduced to the Dignity Model created by Dr. Hicks. I was trying to get my dignity from others (Wanted to feel included). I am learning my dignity belongs to me and no one can take it from me (Mandela Consciousness). Although recognition and approval are great to receive, they do not define my dignity because by right that belongs to me just because.
Making someone feel excluded for whatever reason is a dignity violation. It harms that person’s dignity as well as your own. I have come to understand that the dark part of me still lives inside but I have made a conscious effort to honor my dignity in order to honor others. The only way I can do that is by telling the story that lives inside me.
What is your story and is it time for you to tell it?
“You only win when you maintain your dignity. Dignity always prevails.” Dr. Don Shirley, Green Book
Charles Redd RN
Dignity Freedom Fighter
Dignity Freedom Fighter 